Wife starting to appreciate having a firearm in the house

[T Kehl]

My wife has been raised in a guns are bad house and recently agreed to getting a deer rifle when a friend decided to upgrade and gave me a good deal.

Fast forward a couple months to last Wednesday night when we heard a gunshot a couple houses down (in the city, so pretty darn close).  She was very nervous, so I sent her and the baby to the best protected room and loaded the rifle just in case someone tried to find a house to duck into.  She was a little freaked by having a loaded gun in the house, but appreciated it's function.

After things calmed down, I made a point that it was important for her to know how to use the rifle and showed her how to load it and turn off the safety then had her repeat what I showed her.  Luckily she has been shooting the laser targets at Bass Pro and doing a good job, so I skipped sighting.  Learning to load is enough in the middle of the night. 

I did drop a hint that it would be much more effective to use a pistol instead of rifle in the house, so I may talk her into that or a shotgun in the future. 

[ColdHaven]

It utterly amazes me that people are anti-gun until their lives are in perceived danger. I am glad that she understands that firearms protect us from those who would harm us.

[DeltaEchoVictor]

Glad everything worked out okay for your household. 

Teach her to shoot & take the mystery & fear out of gun ownership.

My wife doesn't ask me anymore when she hears a bump in the night.  She grabs her gun & her cellphone & checks it out herself.

[Sister Wolf]

Teach her to shoot & take the mystery & fear out of gun ownership.

Or, even better (if you can afford it), get her a female teacher.  I learn really well from men/soldiers (I'm the only girl child in an extended family of 16 boys, so that may have something to do with it), but some women - especially those who are already afraid of guns - learn better when a woman is teaching them.  There's a sense of comradery there that people of the opposite sex just can't really duplicate.  And when you're nervous/scared, that comradery helps.  A LOT.

[Sid]

It is not a bad idea to have a little fear of guns, as long as the fear is not unreasonable.  Fear makes us a little more careful than if we did not respect the potential for danger.  I even have a little fear of the potential danger when driving my truck, which makes me put more energy into safety.

[Sister Wolf]

I disagree.  Having full knowledge of your weapon does not diminish common sense or respect for the danger level of the weapon.  But fearing something leaves a potential for it to control you - and I will never allow my tools to control me.  *shrugs*

[DeltaEchoVictor]

I disagree.  Having full knowledge of your weapon does not diminish common sense or respect for the danger level of the weapon.  But fearing something leaves a potential for it to control you - and I will never allow my tools to control me.  *shrugs*

True dat....fear & respect are on opposite ends IMHO.

[The Wilderness]

My wife has been raised in a guns are bad house and recently agreed to getting a deer rifle when a friend decided to upgrade and gave me a good deal.

I did drop a hint that it would be much more effective to use a pistol instead of rifle in the house, so I may talk her into that or a shotgun in the future. 

Let her know also that a rifle is not the best choice for home defense for many reasons, a pistol or home defense shotgun would be a better choice.

Do you have a range near you that offers rental guns and training? They could alleviate her fears and let her find a gun she feels comfortable with.

I have introduced a number of people to handguns that were very anti gun. They have all enjoyed shooting very much after going just one time.

Some of her concern may be because you have a little one in the house, research the various ways to keep a gun safely in the house and talk with her about them and assure her that if you got a handgun that you would insure that it was stored safely.

I would recommend that you get 2 handguns, his and hers, that way she could have her own. 

The Wilderness

[Sister Wolf]

I would recommend that you get 2 handguns, his and hers, that way she could have her own. 

Of course you recommend that. 

He is ALWAYS trying to find ways to buy more guns.   

[Sister Wolf]

All joking aside, though, I agree.  I love the thought of running around with my handgun at frontsight, or James Yeager's classes.  Maybe get a pink grip for it, so TW wouldn't play with it too much. 

[ColdHaven]

I agree. Respect and fear are similar, but also different. I have a respect for the gun at all times while it is in my possession, but I do not fear it.

I have been trying to encourage my fiancee to get a handgun for herself. We have looked at many, but she likes the .22 rifle we have. She told me that she didn't like all the rigamarow that goes with purchasing a handgun. I think she is more comfortable right now with a rifle, and that is cool. When she feels the time is right for her to purchase a handgun I believe she will.

I think that although she hit the target dead center with my ruger she didn't like the way it bucked in her hand. That may have been my fault in my teaching her. Hopefully we can get her to use a smaller one which would fit in her hand easier than the Ruger. I didn't think about that at the time, and I hope I haven't put her off permanently to using a handgun in the future because of my ignorance.

I think the fear ratio is that it might go off in her hand and she would not be able to control it and possibly hurt someone else or herself. Admittedly the Ruger is bigger in her hand than I expected. Maybe a small pink Keltec.....hmmm.....

[T Kehl]

I was also very glad it remained a non-event.

I believe in treating a loaded firearm with the respect you would of any other object that could kill/injure you or others.  I handle sulfuric acid at work just as carefully.

She is willing to go to the range and learn with live ammo, but we have been waiting for a non-rainy Sunday that is reasonably warm. A separate instructor may be a good idea anyway as I bet there are things I do instinctual or by habit that I would forget to cover.

We did have a conversation about what paperwork was required to buy another gun, how to transport, and basics of concealed carry.  Now if I can just get a good weekend to get her to the range, I think she would be accepting of a pistol and CCL liscense for me and maybe herself.  I'll take it a step at a time though.  If I push, it will be a no-go.

[kolarshooter]

I married a city girl 13+ years ago.  After a few years, I had her shooting trap with me...and she was getting pretty good!  I bought her a nice (used) Beretta 682X trap gun, and she pounded some clay with it.  She quit when she got pregnant with our (now) seven year-old daughter.  She now has no problem with anything involving firearms.

Based on my observations as a long-time competitive trapshooter, I think women tend to be more natural shooters (after they kick the "boom" fear) because they seem to just walk-out and shoot a round, where the men are more likely to over-analyze each and every "lost" target, get frustrated, and re-enforce bad habits.  I dunno, just my observation.

People naturally fear what they don't understand: guns, nuclear power, pesticides, etc.  Education and knowledge build reason and strength.

[ORherbalmed]

I had a similar situation happen.  I'm a bouncer her in my home town and I do security work on the side as well.  The wife and I used to go round and round about me having my concealed carry and then we went rounds about me carrying all the time.  Until one night she came to see me at work.  We were walking to an after hourse breakfast location when out of the blue a car came roaring down the street firing shots at the car in front of it maybe 60 yards from us.

Now she has been hinting about getting her own at some point.

[exoduster18]

A big +1 to ColdHaven's first statement in this thread.

I too am amazed by those that are to comfortable around guns or were raised in an atmosphere where "guns are bad" and then when they perceive a threat, they want that gun.

A perfect example of this is my fiance:

My ex-wife starting getting a little...."disturbed" as she had lost rights to the child her and I had together and threaten to just show up and take her. My fiance is a stay at home mom to my daughter and we pregnant with our son at the time. The legal system was no help and I was just told to go get a lawyer (which I did, but even a lawyer isn't going to stop a forced entry for me).

So I went an bought an 870 set up for HD that my fiance could handle. I showed her how to use it and all that. She was still uncomfortable with having it loaded though.......I was only allowed to load it up at night and I had to unload it in the morning.

Now my ex-wife, she isn't going to come at night, she will come in the daylight and raise hell...so it made no sense to unload it and I tried and tried to convince my fiance of that....but it was non starter.

Now, fast forward a few months....the problems with my ex have disappeared but we have had people on our back deck and messing around behind my house.....My fiance has no problem leaving it loaded now. She has even cleared the house with it (on her own as I was at work) and feels totally comfortable with it.

I think that it just takes time and the feeling that one's life may be in danger before a firearm is truly appreciated.

[sage0925]

*snort* from what I've heard about the situation during hurricane Katrina, people who didn't own guns were trying to borrow off people who did. Hypocrites. My guns are MINE...get your own. If you don't understand human nature enough to know that dog-eat-dog situations happen, then you are just too stupid to live. The friends who will be bugging out to my house know they'd better bring a firearm AND a supply of ammo with them.

LOL...my husband usually doesn't even hear the "bumps in the night" around here...it's usually me with the pistol in hand, going downstairs to check things out. I'm paranoid...we have drunks, meth heads, and wild animals around here. I'm rarely in a situation where I can't get my hands on a gun in a hurry.

And to think...I used to be a pro gun control bleeding heart liberal. Live in Atlanta, GA a while...lol. that would change anyone's mind.

[ejsandstrom]

I dont think fear or respect are the right words for me, I use comfort. When you get comfortable is when accidents happen. I use this in a lot of things in life. Even tho I have measured L-L voltage in thousands of switches, so needless to say I was comfortable. However my comfort level went to 0 when I had an arc flash and a 1/8" peice of lexan saved my eye sight and rugged good looks.


Are you SURE that the chamber is empty? Are you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY sure? Bet your life on it? I almost get OCD when handeling guns. I will chech the chamber 3,4,or 5 times. But something like that will keep me having a ND.

Sorry for the hijack.

[PistolWhipped]

I dont think fear or respect are the right words for me, I use comfort. When you get comfortable is when accidents happen. I use this in a lot of things in life. Even tho I have measured L-L voltage in thousands of switches, so needless to say I was comfortable. However my comfort level went to 0 when I had an arc flash and a 1/8" peice of lexan saved my eye sight and rugged good looks.


Are you SURE that the chamber is empty? Are you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY sure? Bet your life on it? I almost get OCD when handeling guns. I will chech the chamber 3,4,or 5 times. But something like that will keep me having a ND.

Sorry for the hijack.

That.  Seriously, I am the same, I'm neurotic about checking the chamber, even when I handle guns at the store and watch the sales associate check it.  He'll check it, I'll drop the mag and check it again.  And I don't let the muzzle wander.  I hate goofs that do.  It's a weapon, don't wave it around like a toy you dunce.

/hijack

[Kwitzats]

It is not a bad idea to have a little fear of guns, as long as the fear is not unreasonable.  Fear makes us a little more careful than if we did not respect the potential for danger.  I even have a little fear of the potential danger when driving my truck, which makes me put more energy into safety.

I know what you are saying I have had intimate familiarity with firearms most of my life, but I fear my children getting a hold of them, I fear I will not be able to get one into use should it be needed fast enough, I fear that if I do use it justifiably I might injure or kill a family member or innocent accidentally, I fear my mag changes are too slow, I fear lots of things and have taken measures to mitigate them. I respect my parents, I do not fear them, you should have reasonable fears it keeps you safer. We might just be mincing definitions but fear is not a bad thing its the response to it that can be good or bad.

[sage0925]

We don't have kids...our chambers are never empty. Except when our friend Bill is house sitting for us...then, my DH checks ALL the firearms to make sure the chambers are empty (Bill has a daughter, 7), and then I check them again. And then, DH checks them AGAIN.

I'm not going to be responsible for a child with a lot of curiosity. Although, I have told Bill...if TSHTF, one of the first things we are going to do (he wants to bug out here) is teach his daughter about firearm safety and how to shoot (we'll start with the .22 pump rifle). I'm NOT having a child in MY house that doesn't know BOTH. If it was my kid, I'd do the same.

[Kwitzats]

My oldest is still way too young to even to be taught other than the simplest safety measures, but even at four she know what a gun is(Ive carefully shown them, kinda what it's for(euphemised of course), never to touch one, and to tell mommy or daddy if she ever sees one out. Not that I'd let the last happen but i did want her to have a vague concept of what it is justin in case. My wife and I are in slight disagreement as to when to start her on the 22 but it wont be for a few years at least.

[sage0925]

Heh...if it was me. I'd have her on it as soon as she could hold it up...but I'm a non-conformist kind of bee-yoch...LOL

[Tactical Badger]

Have to add my story to all the others.  We were in the new place just just about a month when, at about 3:00am, the house alarm goes off.  My wife told me to get my shotgun out of the safe.  I said, "Way ahead of you."

Long story short, I'm armed with my 870 and she has a broom.  When I asked her what she was going to do with that she said, "Well, you didn't get me a gun."

Luckily, it was nothing.

We went out later that week and bought her a handgun.

About a month later, the dog starts barking like crazy in the middle of the night.  I grab the handgun(it was the only one we had at the time) and the wife is left with the broom again.

We went out and bought another handgun that week.

Then...The wife and I took our CHL class purely as a way to get some training.  We debated on whether to go ahead and get our CHL's for a while after the class.  We decided to go ahead and get them so we could carry in a SHTF situation. 

I think it took me almost a week before I started carrying religiously.  She still doesn't carry though.  She is fine with the guns around the house and she's glad I carry.

[homeshow]

that's gret that all of your wives have started appreciating being gun owners.  Susan had her's before i met her.  just need to get her CCL and get her to carry it.  and if i ever catch her trying to clear the house while i'm there.  well you will probably hear it from your house.  that's right I'm a chauvanistic pig.  her safety trumps mine every time.  if i'm not home she can shoot the intruders.  they'd probably prefer it was me.

[sage0925]

*sputter* Excuse me, homeshow??? I had to talk my old man into buying our first gun, thank you very much! Now we have a house full! 

[homeshow]

*sputter* Excuse me, homeshow??? I had to talk my old man into buying our first gun, thank you very much! Now we have a house full! 

sage you know i love ya and appreciate your posts.  i am super glad that you were the one to step up and get the family armed.  having said that i will protect my family.  that's my job.  her's is not to go room to room at 2 am hunting burglers.  that's my game and she's not allowed to play.

[sage0925]

Well, my DH is about deaf as a post...he never hears half the noises I do...so it's usually me going though the house with a gun. By the time I'm armed and downstairs, he's finally up asking me what the issue is...LOL

[nate49080]

my wife is japanese and was a total anti-gun nut. but i got her to shoot a bb gun and familerised her with my fire arms and showed her how safe they are being looked up and she is comming around nicely.

[homeshow]

my wife is japanese and was a total anti-gun nut. but i got her to shoot a bb gun and familerised her with my fire arms and showed her how safe they are being looked up and she is comming around nicely.

way to go!

[sage0925]

Good on you, Nate!