How can I make it up to him?
Oh wait...he already ate a sandwich so he must be wanting the other thing. ;D
isn't the point of a 'dear abby column' to help with anonimity? ???
I can just imagine Dear Abby in a frilly little skirt answering emails at her computer, and would hate for Heavy G's wife to see him that way...
Send a PM. I won't say who it is. (Note: the next person to send me a PM with an embarrassing question is NOT PennyPincher.)
She wants to have sex, but I'm concerned I might give her my cold. Should I say 'yes'?"
Answer: Of course. It's sex we're talking about. Go for it, bro.
But I will apply the same principle here: withhold sex from her unless she wears boots. Try that out.
BAD ADVICE....For once, I agree with Doc. :o
This one came in by PM:
"When I rub my wife's feet, her response is "okay, what did you do wrong?" or "I know what you want".
Now of course, we all know that I want the goods, but I don't want it to look like those are my intentions. I'm okay rubbing her feet a few times during movies nights and falling asleep when my head hits the pillow. I figure that I'm building up credit. The question is, how long are those credits good for? Just curious.
Curious from Colorado."
What is the square root of -1? It is the impossible, unsolvable puzzle. There is no answer to your question.
Basically, foot rubbing is an acceptable way of proposing some love. It's much better than sending her a text that says, "Wanna &*#%?"
I disagree! We always want the foot rubs! But if you take it, knowing it's not done out of love, but "for credit," it's annoying. A "wanna ****" text is better, because you can be like YEP! or NOPE! And everyone knows what's up!
lol exclamation marks.
Wait a minute, I'm confused. You mean there are times when a guy really doesn't want sex? Wow! Who knew!!we have to sleep sometime....
~TG
we have to sleep sometime....
Wait a minute, I'm confused. You mean there are times when a guy really doesn't want sex? Wow! Who knew!!
~TG
I'm a feminist (and a lady lol) and I'm not bothered. You're saying a whole lot of "men will do anything for more sex" sooo....that kinda makes y'all look stupid, not us. Plus, we all knew that already ;)
Another PM:Depression?
he can go months and not care
Depression?
I'm a feminist (and a lady lol) and I'm not bothered. You're saying a whole lot of "men will do anything for more sex" sooo....that kinda makes y'all look stupid, not us. Plus, we all knew that already ;)
Another PM:
"This is going to sound mean..but..how do I get my husband to not be such a Nancy! I love him to death and do so often! I just hate coming across as the nagging b!+@# that's always hun you need to split wood today,hun can you haul water to the hens,hun..hun..hun..he will do it but then pout like a little girl all day for how hard he's worked the last week and how I'm always asking him to do things..we work out of home he doesn't break a sweat..I let him know how grateful I am..and praise him for what he does but come on I do it the other six days a week and the house and the kids and the cooking..then I spilt wood then I haul feed and water and basically run things..I don't want to have to ask..withholding sex is no big deal for him he can go months and not care..I love my husband very much but I feel like I go at life alone and I get really worn out having to wear the pants and the skirt all of the time.."
It occurs to me that asking Heavy G for advice with women is like asking my German Shepherd to guard my medium rare T-bone while I step outside for a minute.
we have to sleep sometime....
We both realized if the item we witheld from the other was a source of pleasure for us, there was no point in "cutting off the nose to spite the face." ha, ha
When I speak of men withholding sex from women, it's purely theoretical. Like "cuts in government spending."
Another PM:
"My wife and I have been happily married for over 10 years and love each other fiercely. But I have a disease that I have never told her about. BRD (Black Rifle Disease)
She can't handle the truth. Why mess with a good thing? Hide the guns (with proper locks if you have kids, of course) and let love blossom. Out of sight, out of mind.
As an Expert in the subject, I think HG should run a dedicated thread on the art and science of subterfuge in regards to this perilous situation so many of us find ourselves in.... :)
low testosterone is the likely "problem" which can be caused by a number of things... maybe depression...
but likely causes include
1. Drinking too much, sadly
2. Too much consumption of certain things, wheat and soy can be a problem
3. Not enough consumptions of certain things, primarily cholesterol and saturated fat (its not all bad)
4. Medications... where to start
Then I could follow up with a book about how to hide books about hiding shit from our wives. ;D
Yes guys, I just gave away the big secret!<--- *gasps*
Then I could follow up with a book about how to hide books about hiding shit from our wives. ;D
Followed by the book. "How to find the books your husbands hide that tell them how to hide shit from their wives.
This would be followed up by the book. "Divorce: Why trust is such an issue". ;) ;D ;D
There are TWO key points to this. No book necessary.
1-always leave an empty slot in the gun cabinet
2-always go to the gun shop with an empty long gun case (to fill with purchase for said empty slot)
"How men hide guns and shit from their wives"? Hmmmm.... I could write a book about that and sell a million copies.Probably make Oprah's book club. :D
Hmmm. I sense a recurring theme in G's advice.You must mean all that wisdom he shares. ;)
Hmmm. I sense a recurring theme in G's advice.
*shrugs* It's been keeping men and women together for thousands of years. I didn't invent it.
It's almost like Whomever created us had this brilliant solution in mind.
*shrugs* It's been keeping men and women together for thousands of years. I didn't invent it.
It's almost like Whoever created us had this brilliant solution in mind.
I'm reminded of when my husband and I were first married. We had my famiy over for dinner and he made the MISTAKE of saying his mother's fried chicken was better than mine. I quit cooking altogether for him. He was on his own for his meals. It literally took him several years (and another family chicken dinner i cooked) before he said my cooking was not onlly OK, but that he preferred the way I cooked fried chicken to that of his his mother. I immediately thanked him and started cooking for both of us again.
A similar thing happened when he complained I didn't know how to iron his shirts. He's still ironing his own stuff to this day.
Bear in mind that he was in his mid 30s when we married and I was nearly 30 myself. I think we both had more than enough life experience and self confidence that the witholding of certain things just didn't make that big of a deal. We both realized if the item we witheld from the other was a source of pleasure for us, there was no point in "cutting off the nose to spite the face." ha, ha
Cute column, Dear Abner 8)
Who knows ... there might be a book coming out about how a guy hides his preps from his wife. You never know.
OK, back to the PMs:
"Heavy G-- My husband buys lots of guns. I like to buy a nice pair of shoes every now and again. He flips out when I buy some shoes but seems to think we have plenty of money for his guns. Any ideas?
Shoe Girl in Montana"
I sure do have an idea. Get yourself a nice pair of shoes. Leave him a note that he needs to come into the bedroom. Be in there with nothing but those new shoes on. Tell him that both of you get a treat when you buy shoes.
Is every answer really going to involve sex? I understand that alot of this is tongue-in-cheek, but does everyone really believe that men are that simple? (How many people replying yes am I going to get?)
No offense, G, you are one of the voices here that I love to hear because your sense of humor translates well and you also give sage advice. My fear is that someone actually is looking for real advice. I have no problem if you want to qualify every serious answer with "you can also have sex," but someof the questions look like they are along the lines of "how do I get my partner into prepping," but without the actual prepping question.
I don't want to ruin anyones fun, so tell me if I am out of line.
I'd like to tell you guys to keep it up, but I'd be afraid it wouldn't come across the way I intended it.
Sounds like you need to have sex.... ok sorry, I just can't help myself sometimes.
I think we all see it as a joke, or everyone else.
But there is something to be said for having sex. It usually (if done with your spouse) bring couples closer.
i'd kill for twice a week right now...
Witholding? Are you insane?????? :o :o
I do listen, and offer the boot suggestion, over and over and over and.... All she says is "I'm only walking to the car". I honestly don't know why she refuses to wear boots. She has no real reason to even tell me. I guess it's a guy thing. Mud/rain/snow=boot weather.
Shopping is a suggestion I've had many times, but she HATES shopping and HATES buying something for herself. (whether she does or I do-she hates it)
I think it's just a secret ploy to get me to continue the brick walkway all the way to the car. ;)
Enough of my silly issue. The others are wayyyyy better!! ;D ;D
So, what's normal per week?
So, what's normal per week?
Whatever guys say in answer to this will be inflated.
I took my estimate, and cut it in half to cover inflation, then divided by 4 to remove anomalies. Then dropped out 38% to error on the side of caution and came up with 4 times a day. Sounds about right.
So, what's normal per week? I asked my DH and he said he'd be fully satisfied with 5x/week. I would actually be okay with 1x/week. We end up hovering between 2-4x/week depending on what else is going on in our lives.
Depression?
Here's a PM I got:
"HG: I spend probably two hours a night on the TSP forum. I'm neglecting my family. My wife asked if there was anything she could do get my attention back to her. Any suggestions about what I could tell her?
TSP Addict in Atlanta"
Nope, TSP Addict. Nothing comes to mind.
Have her join the forum.
TW
Here's a PM I got:Get a smartphone and use it to surf the forum at work. Tell your boss you've got irritable bowel and have to spend a lot of time on the bathroom.
"HG: I spend probably two hours a night on the TSP forum. I'm neglecting my family. My wife asked if there was anything she could do get my attention back to her. Any suggestions about what I could tell her?
TSP Addict in Atlanta"
Nope, TSP Addict. Nothing comes to mind.
Just make sure you take her out every once in a while with that free time!! One night with the buds, one night with her.
PS: SEE--not every piece of marriage advice I have involves wives loving their husbands well and frequently.
There is hope. I drink pepsi and my wife drinks coke. Been married 18 years now. :)
My professional advice is to divorce her. Yes, over cola choices. See, I'm a professional.but what 'Profession'? The oldest one??? ;)
Heavy G has now been officially warned for his "Anti-Pepsi" rants. Here at TSP, we enjoy a very diverse membership of cola drinkers. Doesn't matter if your a Coke, Pepsi, RC, or even a Shasta lover. Your welcome here.Um wait, we do against RC lovers... I mean jeesh! RC Cola? ;)
Um wait, we do against RC lovers... I mean jeesh! RC Cola? ;)
just joking RC cola lovers
What ever happened to Nehi Orange Soda? Or Grapette?
Is there hope for those marriages?
~TG
...but hubby likes to drink milk. he would go through a gallon in 3 days if I bought it. I cannot stand the stuff!One of my brothers would drink a gallon with supper.
What ever happened to Nehi Orange Soda? Or Grapette?
~TG
Heavy G.
I have to travel out of town for work; boss didn't give me a choice. I leave early in the morning on V-day. My wife SAYS she understands. All she said was, "You better send me flowers." And she also said, "It really doesn't matter, we can't get a baby sitter anyway." But we ALL KNOW I've already got one foot in the doghouse even though this is out of my control.
So, I figured I need to start with a pretty big arrangement of flowers. That's a given. But it's probably not enough. I'm open to suggestions.
Doghouse resident. Formerly known as AG2
Have Valentine's the day after: cards and chocolates 50% off!
I've been trying to convince my wife to do this for years....
Have Valentine's the day after: cards and chocolates 50% off!I've got the opposite problem. My wife is very frugal and has a calf if I were to waste money on over priced flowers that will be wilted and thrown away in a week. She is much happier if I spend $10 on a bouquet as a surprise any time of the year than if I spend $100 on roses on Feb 14 because the tv told me to.
I've been trying to convince my wife to do this for years....
I've got the opposite problem. My wife is very frugal and has a calf if I were to waste money on over priced flowers that will be wilted and thrown away in a week. She is much happier if I spend $10 on a bouquet as a surprise any time of the year than if I spend $100 on roses on Feb 14 because the tv told me to.
I've got the opposite problem. My wife is very frugal and has a calf if I were to waste money on over priced flowers that will be wilted and thrown away in a week. She is much happier if I spend $10 on a bouquet as a surprise any time of the year than if I spend $100 on roses on Feb 14 because the tv told me to.
I've got the opposite problem. My wife is very frugal and has a calf if I were to waste money on over priced flowers that will be wilted and thrown away in a week. She is much happier if I spend $10 on a bouquet as a surprise any time of the year than if I spend $100 on roses on Feb 14 because the tv told me to.
Yeah??
And how's that workin' for ya?
There are many times where cheap or thrifty are good; showing love for your best-est most-est significant other isn't that time.
Thinkin' Doghouse for Cold Blue, too...
*wonders if Cold Blue's wife has Heavy G's PM address?*
~TG
And what woman doesn't like to be seen being surprised by the love of her life?depends if it is you.....
depends if it is you.....
Why you gotta go there Archer... damn.. ;)'cause i'm an old sourpuss.
I've got the opposite problem. My wife is very frugal and has a calf if I were to waste money on over priced flowers that will be wilted and thrown away in a week. She is much happier if I spend $10 on a bouquet as a surprise any time of the year than if I spend $100 on roses on Feb 14 because the tv told me to.
What's Valentines day? Never heard of it. ??? :P ;DI think it's sometime in February. I vaguely recall my husband cooking a dinner for me once around this time of year. ;)
Heavy G.
I have to travel out of town for work; boss didn't give me a choice. I leave early in the morning on V-day. My wife SAYS she understands. All she said was, "You better send me flowers." And she also said, "It really doesn't matter, we can't get a baby sitter anyway." But we ALL KNOW I've already got one foot in the doghouse even though this is out of my control.
So, I figured I need to start with a pretty big arrangement of flowers. That's a given. But it's probably not enough. I'm open to suggestions.
Doghouse resident. Formerly known as AG2
Here's an idea for a cost-effective flower blitz: Have some friends in town get her a rose at the grocery store ($4 or whatever) and bring it over to her and have them say you asked them to do it. Have a couple friends do that and you'll be out of the dog house. It's thoughtful and it takes logistical planning. That's what the chicas dig: thoughtfulness and a big to-do.
Think how she will feel as the door bell rings each time on Valentines night and it's someone else with a flower for her. She'll never forget it.
Think how she will feel as the door bell rings each time on Valentines night and it's someone else with a flower for her. She'll never forget it.just a thought, maybe you dont want men showing up on valentines day with flowers while you are out of town...
just a thought, maybe you dont want men showing up on valentines day with flowers while you are out of town...
Also, for all you men on here, make sure you are aware of the men's counterpart to Valentine's Day on March 14. Google it and you will understand.
My wife reads Cosmo and other crap like that sometimes, so she is conditioned to believe that behavior outside of the norm is considered a sign of cheating. If I got her flowers, which I never do, she might take it the wrong way.
Hubby usually never gives me anything for Valentines day. On a couple of occasions he gave me a single red rose. It took him forever to figure out I hate roses like that. (get me a rose bush-not the single one that will die in a couple of days!-and I prefer wildflowers anyway!)
Guess what!?! He gave me an early v-day present. He gave me 2 battery powered Coleman lanterns! He saw them on clearance for $4 each and picked me up 2. What makes this an extra special present is that he is not really into the whole being prepared thing. He also doesn't understand why I want back ups of stuff. We have flashlights, we have kerosene lanterns, why do we need battery lanterns? Regardless, he saw me looking at them the other day and when they went on clearance-he bought them!
+1 for ya!
And yes, before you ask, I thanked him properly!!!
And yes, before you ask, I thanked him properly!!!
DH and I were married 16 years before he passed away in 2007. He never forgot Valentine Day and our anniversary on the next day. He always bought something nice like jewelry, no candy or flowers. I still have the last gift he got for me, 3 different size pillar candles shaped like hearts on a plate. Every year I get them out for a few days and light one on Valentines Day. He was a true romantic. I would trade all the gifts and cards just to have him back for an hour. :'(+5, just because I can.
Seriously? Comso and the rest of those things really say that flowers is a sign of cheating? If so, then it's so sad.
May I humbly present some of my outstanding marriage advice? (Of course. You're still reading this so you've tacitly agreed I can.)
Give her flowers. Maybe today, the day before Valentines Day. And then on Valentines Day. And then some candy. Make a whole big stinkin' fuss over her. Make her think you've been hit on the head with a brick and are acting all crazy. She'll like it.
It's not the flowers that indicate cheating, it is any behavior that is out of the ordinary. Being more amorous than normal, getting gifts when you don't normally, etc. I am sure that Vday and stuff like that are exceptions, but why take the risk?
Sis:
I have no answers for you. I just don't. You've stumped me.
Here's some hope: the reunion was super boom-boom. Lotta lotta.
Send a card in the mail every day to him.Considering their luck with the USPS and UPS, that may not work. ;)
Cedar
Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.
Sarey
ya know Heavy G in my preps I say tarps are so important. You can carry stuff build shelters patch a roof boil water just so many things. One more thing they are good for. Protecting the carpet from oil adult slip n slide pudding wrestling and body finger painting. Hows that for giving it your all ;)WOO HOO! Roundy got some sexy time! ;D
PS yes high heals included
Dear heavy I am posting this question for a friend while not a marriage question it is related to sex well sort of. This friend would like to know how do you get the dead hooker smell out of the trunk of a car. He has asked a few of his fellow congressman but as usual there fix involves spending a few billion on the problem. To make matters worse it is not his car and he needs to return it to that nice lobbyist man who lent him the car ( and the hooker) He really needs to put this behind him so he can get back to work on his speech on family values. Please help.
Just spotted this column this morning and enjoyed reading the various tidbits of advice being doled out by Heavy G along with other comments by fellow TSP’rs (seems like a good term to me). Clearly I need to spend more time on the forums. Usually I’m looking for something specific but lately I’ve discovered many educational and fun topics to participate in.
Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.
He’s a great man with a wonderful sense of humor and accepts me as I am with all my crazy notions (prepping, tin foil hat stories, what if’s and puts up with a really sick sense of humor and laughs with me) so I really can’t complain.
Love this community more and more…
Sarey
Dear heavy I am posting this question for a friend while not a marriage question it is related to sex well sort of. This friend would like to know how do you get the dead hooker smell out of the trunk of a car. He has asked a few of his fellow congressman but as usual there fix involves spending a few billion on the problem. To make matters worse it is not his car and he needs to return it to that nice lobbyist man who lent him the car ( and the hooker) He really needs to put this behind him so he can get back to work on his speech on family values. Please help.
Time to call the Wolf. That's all you have say.
Wish the advice was practical for my situation but husband’s interest in boom, boom as you say is rare and clearly he is a different breed of cat er, man. Almost always it’s up to me to push the issue but after 16 years of marriage I’ve just come to face the fact that sex isn’t very important to him.
---- warning, you have reached the end of any potentially useful advice, it was hard to be serious for so long -------
If that doesn't work and he wants to outsource the boom boom, I still have slots available on tuesday afternoon and thursday morning.
I'm wondering if I haven't been increasing my testosterone without even knowing it. I haven't had it tested.
But I slowly lost weight (about 40 pounds over six months) and have kept it off. I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm in my mid 40s.
I exercise a lot. Between one and two hours at the gym six times a week.
I eat lots of nuts, especially almonds. I eat almond butter probably every other day. I eat red meat a normal amount. I am not on a low-fat diet.
Interesting.
Probably, I'm not a physician, but spent months researching diet and testosterone, it sounds like you found the plan yoursef. the real physical manifestation is higher sex drive and possibly incrfeased frequency of erections.
I'm wondering if I haven't been increasing my testosterone without even knowing it. I haven't had it tested.
But I slowly lost weight (about 40 pounds over six months) and have kept it off. I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm in my mid 40s.
I exercise a lot. Between one and two hours at the gym six times a week.
I eat lots of nuts, especially almonds. I eat almond butter probably every other day. I eat red meat a normal amount. I am not on a low-fat diet.
Interesting.
Here's a PM with a great question:
"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"
Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.
But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom. Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose. If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first. Repeat as necessary. Then go with 70,000 rounds.
Once they decide on an amount, 50, 70, 100... etc.... I think more boom boom would be in order.
Here's a PM with a great question:
"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"
Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.
But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom. Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose the amount of ammo to get. If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first. Repeat as necessary. Then go with 70,000 rounds.
At what point are they going to actually get the ammo?
Your advice is great, but when does anything else get done? Not that I am complaining.
Here's a PM with a great question:
"DH [dear husband] and I are having a disagreement. I think we should stockpile 20,000 rounds of each caliber we own, and then add more if we want. He says we should have 50,000 rounds of each caliber before we move on to the next. What say you?"
Hmmm... the prepper in me says if you say 20,000 rounds and he says 50,000 rounds then compromise--go with 70,000 rounds.
But the marriage advice professional in me says you should have some boom boom. Whoever... gets happy first gets to choose the amount of ammo to get. If you have "tie," then be glad you had that and then boom again and see who gets happy first. Repeat as necessary. Then go with 70,000 rounds.
At what point are they going to actually get the ammo?
Your advice is great, but when does anything else get done? Not that I am complaining.
But having the minimum 20,000 rounds and a "tie" now and again is a hell of a way to live.Quite possibly the best quote I've noticed since I've been on the forum :)
Soup:
You know that it's not really "oregano" she puts in those brownies, right?
What's more important: an oil change every 3,000 miles or some boom boom sooner than every couple months?
EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS!!!!!! Seriously? People live like that? :o
I'm a feminist (and a lady lol) and I'm not bothered. You're saying a whole lot of "men will do anything for more sex" sooo....that kinda makes y'all look stupid, not us. Plus, we all knew that already ;)We are not stupid; we just work cheap!
Define "normal".
4x a day! Obviously these answers have been skewed by bias in favor of the estrogen challenged among us.You may have found the answer.lol
*Adjust the driveway security camera.Is this a reactive or proactive measure?
You have no control over your kids when you get down to it. Your wife, your kids' friends, and the public schools have far more control over them than you do. I decided not to ruin my relationship with my kids over it. Besides, they're good kids. They get crack for their dad.that's why you are soo happy most of the time
...I decided not to ruin my relationship with my kids over it. Besides, they're good kids. They get crack for their dad.
I'm not saying that's the case here, or at Texas Girl's place
After all, a healthy marriage involves lovingly give-and-take.boom-boom!
I follow a rule my old man told me, what ever you spend on yourself at least 1.5X more on the wife. Example, I got a blackberry playbook I got her an Ipad 2 that she wanted.
Yeah, I saw you talking about ex-husbands...
... since she feels so strongly about getting rid of collections. Yes, if you have limited space and wind up tripping over them, this includes the "sacred" shoe collection.
Josh-who-likes-shoes? Meet TG-who-likes-shoes. Honestly, you guys would make a pretty darn cute couple.
*steps back and grins* :popcorn:
... why do I get the feeling that one of the pastimes of prepper matriarchs is to find un-attached preppers to attach, thus encouraging a new prepper generation?
because it is long term prepping for the future :)
hubby got after me last night for not spending money in my "fun" budget for so manymonthsyears it has now accumulated to $700. he said he spends all his, and I feel guilty for wanting something like a tumbling composter. he asked if I felt bad that he was spending money on himself. "no, you work so hard for our family, you need some fun stuff." "so do you!" so I quickly thought up a perfect excuse: "I am saving for a big family vacation." he bought it.
I know, I am an odd woman, not liking to spend money. I hate shoes. I dislike shopping for clothes. I hate nik-naks and other clutter-y things. But I know I have a good man.
because it is long term prepping for the future :)
... why do I get the feeling that one of the pastimes of prepper matriarchs is to find un-attached preppers to attach, thus encouraging a new prepper generation?
PS, Is anyone else seeing banner ads for shoe shaped tape dispensers on this thread? Isn't Google wonderful? Geez!
I gotta say that, while I'm a huge fan of marital boom boom, the idea of sex springing from an argument seems kinda sketchy to me. I mean, I try to have as few arguments and as much sex as possible.
Yeah, in all 24 years of my marriage, there might have been one time where Boom Boom followed an argument make-up. We really didn't argue that much, but when we did, my emotional barometer was a bit twitched for a little while. Never did understand others talking about "make up" sex.
I'm a huge fan of marital Boom Boom, too. At least I think I was... It's been so long ago now, my memory's fading.
~TG
Oh, yes. I remember now. TG=TigerGirl. Yes, those were the days.
*sighs* Maybe I'll find another knight in shining armor (or body armor?) some day.
I can't help with the marital boom-boom, but I try to make myself available for non-marital boom-boom when I find females in need.
I think Stairway to Heaven can be appropriate and sexy.
Think of your lady before you put on Led Zeppelin. Just sayin'.
one word: Bolero
Okay here's some Mama advise because Heavy G I love you but this thread sometimes makes me cringe.
1) Forgive (AND forget) everything because your spouse is not perfect AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
2) Buy her (or his) chairs. (See the old movie Phenomenon for better clarification ). Be sweet to each other OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM and it will be good inside the bedroom. This can be done with simple little gestures and sometimes the more simple the sweeter they seem. (One weird example - my dh brings me heart shaped rocks he finds on the mountain. His way of saying I love you that melt my heart).
3) And lastly - For the guys: Listen to her but don't try to fix everything sometimes we just need to vent and need a shoulder to cry on. Try a little tenderness as we are not made the same. Make her feel as if there is no one else for you. For the ladies: Respect your spouse. THIS is what they need almost (well just barely) more than sex. Listen to him and treat him as if he were a superhero and he will act that way and you will reap the reward.
LOL
Sis, hun... I appreciate the thought, but I think Josh is younger than my son.
~TG
TG, Are you telling us that your "picture" isn't really you? ???
The internet and all forums on it are made up entirely of ex Navy SEALS and female fitness models.Along with your occasional super hero. ;)
Do not destroy the myth.
Hmmm... I honestly don't know. I'll let the readers of this thread weigh in, especially the ladies. Ladies: You can weigh in via confidential PMs so you don't need to be public about your advice.
Is it hormonal?Could be.
I read “The 5 Love Languages” a while ago. Great book, it had some interesting concepts that I’ve read elsewhere since but that book put them together and pretty simply.
One of the ideas is that love and “boom boom” is like a checking account. Deposits are made outside the bedroom and withdraws inside, sounds backward but it makes sense if you think about it.
I’ve learned that if I don’t make regular deposits into my wife's “love account” there will be no boom boom.
I don’t know your situation but I can’t imagine working nights is easy on a relationship. You be at a negative balance in your account and that may be killing your drive.
On top of that sex drive is an “extra” bodily function. Minor things like too little sleep, poor nutrition, too much stress and hormonal changes can get your bodily systems out of whack. When that happens sex drive is one of the first nonessential systems to get shut down. (that’s just my opinion but I think it’s accurate)
Most importantly talk to your man, he may be clueless (most of us are) as to how you feel.