Survivalism & Self Sufficiency Topics > Lady Survivors

My Husband of 18 years Died VERY Suddenly -totally unexpectedly, Help...

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My husband Ed & I just relocated into Missoula, Montana a little over 3 weeks ago. we were _I still am, staying at a friends house. Ed & I both wanted out of this place I never realised they were hoarders, slobs, and wouldn't even give us an inch in the fridge or freezer to store any food we eat. I have no real family to speak of, and my husbands brothers basically told me I was on my own, my husband was to inherit about 25,000 or more at age 55 - now his brothers are saying for me not to expect it. Doesn't anything willed to my husband automatically go to me his surviving spouse. On top of that Ed had a bass Guitar that he had to beg his oldest brother to return to him, he sends me an e-mail this morning how he wants to keep Bass in the family and he would pay for me to send it back to him.
 I am so terrified, scared out of my mind, I can't get survivor benefits until I m 50 --I am 46...
I am so hurt I feel like I died with him - I miss him so much more then words can ever express, I loved him soooo much he was my entire world. How do I continue without him?
I need a place to live - but we had no money no life insurance, he had a small one that is sending me 1500.00 but how far could that get me?
I am disabled & on Soc. Security which is a joke.
Is anyone looking for a very clean, quiet woman with 2 old dogs and 4 cats all 100% indoors.
or any ideas?

Oil Lady:
Have you ANY family??


Do you have a church affiliation?  Can a local church help you?

Can you contact a local women's shelter?

I would say you can start at this place as they appear connected to many other places that offer options for a place to live.

The Poverello Center Missoula, MT 59807  : 406-728-1809

Sorry for your loss. What about one of those fundraising sites? Maybe the Montana board to see if anybody local could help? Do you have things of value that don't have sentimental value to sell? I would definitely consult with an attorney to see were his will stands.

Firstly, Mrs. s and I both extend our condolences for your loss. There is a reason they are called 'Significant Others', and to loose him, especially unexpectedly, is to cut out part of your soul.

Secondly, it's OK to grieve - to cry or to want to be left alone with your thoughts. Hopefully, your friends are not the type to tell you to 'get over it' or 'buck up', etc. That is about the least helpful thing they could do.

Thirdly, rest assured that your life will go on. Changed, to be sure, but you will continue. You will go through many confusing feelings - hurt, sadness, abandonment, even anger. That's all right, perfectly normal as a matter of fact. Don't feel guilty about any of those feelings; eventually you will come to accept what happened and will have the strength to build from that point on. You may want to hook up with a minister or councilor to help you over the rough spots and suggest coping strategies.

You may want to contact your county Social Services agency as soon as possible to see about finding a place to live. Being on SS/D or SS/I and without a permanent home might give you a higher priority in finding housing. May not be the greatest of places, but it would be yours.

And finally, don't be afraid to use the forum for moral support. A lot of folks here have been through some pretty rough times, and are more than willing to lend a virtual hand to someone going through their very own "TEOTWAWKI".

Good luck and keep us posted,



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